


Maewynn's Journal

by Neshtaswritings



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: F/F, Maewynn, Night Elf, OC, Original Character(s), Thunderfoot tales
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neshtaswritings/pseuds/Neshtaswritings
Summary: An ongoing series of Maewynn's personal Journal





	1. Chapter 1

ENTRY ONE: Thursday, August 10th

Dear journal,

It’s been about a week since I came to the village to work on this case. I find myself feeling more and more sympathy for Balder as I spent time with him each day. The past few sessions have been simple conversations, I’ve learned a great deal of Balder’s past, however, it’s not an exact history to learn from the mouth of the subject. Everyone has their own personal bias, and it’s hard to gleam the total truth that way. On that note: I was able to speak with one of the clan members, a Gnome by the name of Maggie. She seemed nice enough, despite her spiky exterior. I fell into ‘therapist mode’ over our conversation. Truthfully, I am very frustrated and upset with myself over this. I missed the opportunity to form a relationship with another person by alienating them in this way. As I look over the more recent years of my life, I am wondering if I will ever be able to form relationships again. As a therapist, I am trained to view people as truly unbreakable, that any wound can be cured. But for myself, I feel utterly broken, like I am stuck in an escapable rut. I often thought that my dream was one that could be attained...but as more and more years go by, I see that it was simply a foolish flight of fancy from my childhood. While it’s tempting to wallow in self-pity, I feel it’s more important to learn from this and be more aware. If I really do want significant others, I need to put the effort in to correct my mistakes. I am hoping that in the next few years to ‘get back on the wagon’ and try to engage in relationships again. I’ve been too focused on my work, and it’s not going to be good for my health in the long run. Perhaps the village where I find myself is an appropriate place to make an attempt?


	2. JOURNAL ENTRY TWO: Friday, August 11th

Dear Journal,

Today has been an eventful day, I met a wonderful night elf name Kaylaura. I am no fool, I know she is the unseemly sort, but it was nice to socialize with someone for once. I didn’t get to learn much of her history or past...but she is very pretty and had this kind of alluring smile. I must admit, I might have been a tad smitten. This has led to us sharing a meal and a drink that night. I think we might have done some flirting. Honestly, it was liberating to remove the therapist hat for once. I feel as if I was able to really unwind with someone. So I must thank her for that. As you might have guessed, the following morning I was paying for my fun. My hangover was very excruciating. Probably helped by the strong liquor that she offered me. I think I was trying to impress her, and took one sip too many!


	3. JOURNAL ENTRY THREE: Saturday, August 12th

Dear Journal,

Today has been a very productive day! I am very happy with the progress I made, both with this clan and my social goals. The day started off with a bad start. I woke up in the smaller inn, laying on the floor with a massive hangover. After grabbing a water skin, I headed outside. I was not feeling in the best sorts and thought that some fresh air would do me good. I met a most curious woman there. A shaman by the name of Vaniyella. She was...frankly, stunning. She had this kind of...tragic beauty to her. It was clear that she had suffered a great trauma, and I don’t just mean the usual kind that have inflicted the Draenei for years. Something happened to her, something cruel. I will admit this to you and only you journal: I was a bit jealous of her. I’ve never been a particularly beautiful woman. I don’t have the great form, or shapely build that many of my peers do. The Kaldorai are a race gifted with grace and beauty. I think I might have been passed over for those gifts. I am well aware that jealousy of this kind is petty. But still, I must admit I find myself wishing I looked half as beautiful as Vaniyella.

Setting that thought aside. I conversed with this woman, and learned as I said, that something terrible happened to her. Her condition seems very delicate though, and I was not able to press further. But here is where the story gets interesting. As we talked another Draenei came up to the group. A vindicator by the name of Fhariis. I was instantly smitten! She has this smile….this...way about her, my heart was all a flutter!

A series of sketches are on the page here: hearts, flowers, and an attempt at Fharriis’ face.

We talked for a bit more, and I must have lost my focus, as I brought up the subject of sex. That made Vaniyella very uncomfortable, I could tell she was near a panic attack. I feel awful for my lapse in reason. I feel that….deep down, I am truly am a buffoon. Perhaps my speech, my education...perhaps it is all a ruse to hide my true stupidity? Self-deprecation is a form of indulgence, and I know these thoughts are not healthy.

Back to the story. After Vaniyella left, Fhariis could tell I was upset over that. I think she stayed with me to take my mind off of it. She’s a very kind soul. We went to the larger inn, to have some water and share a meal. We talked for a good long time, and I...will confess...I think I am falling for her! It’s silly, of course, but I guess I am just a sucker for kind words and a pretty face. How hypocritical of me: To be so concerned over looks when I myself have none? At any rate. Things were going well, until I felt the odd sensation of itchiness. I scratched my neck and ear quite badly, apparently, I had been sprinkled with itching powder. My drink had also been spiked with it. A person had been stalking us, watching us, and doing that to me. It was a Nightelf by the name of Maggie, apparently she and Fhariis had a relationship that had been terminated by Fhariis. As I watched the two of them however, it was clear that Maggie is not of sound mind. I will need to take more time to evaluate her, but she appears to be suffering from psychosis. The cause is unknown, and I want to help her, but that will take time and patience...how odd, a woman tries to attack me and all I want to do is help!

We were able to prevent the situation from escalating: Maggie felt that I was trying to ‘take’ Fhariis from her. And she had nearly gotten violent. I was able to calm her and have a conversation with her. I can say in my professional opinion: Maggie’s mind is greatly damaged. She was able to be calmed and left to her room peacefully. Fhariis helped to alleviate my itching and we shared a dessert while we talked. To be quite honest….I truly do want to pursue a relationship with her, despite the...complications. It’s not Fhariis’ fault that someone whose mind is shattered is fixating on her. I can help her with that. But there is the nagging thought in my mind: Am I being selfish?


	4. JOURNAL ENTRY FOUR , Sunday, August 13th

<< The writing on the pages is scribbled and much messier than normal. >>

Dear Journal,

As you can no doubt tell, I am writing this entry with my left hand. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to do this, so I am greatly out of practice. Yesterday was another eventful one for me. I spend the morning resting from the remnants of my hangover, then I had a session with Balder. That went smoothly, I learned a bit more about the time he spent in the clan. It turns out that he hasn’t been here long, and as such, has not met many people. While that is discouraging, his records will be arriving tomorrow, so, I am excited to go over them. In the meantime, I suppose I should explain what happened. I am currently sitting in the infirmary of the Thunderfoot clan with a bandaged right arm.

As I was saying, after my session I came down for dinner, and truthfully, wine. The Pandaren truly know how to make the most delightful spirits! I met one of the clan members, Vane. A very nice Worgen who I suspect has suffered numerous traumatic experiences. And I met a high elf! He was a very kind man and it was nice to talk with him even for a short while. After a little while, Maggie came down from her room. To make a long story short, I attempted to talk with her. She was dancing between lucid and very addled….It was honestly painful to see the flickers of the real Maggie. I think she would have been a wonderful friend back before her trauma. I tried to find out more about her relationship with Fharris and she turned quickly. Instantly angering and accusing me of trying to take her away. It happened in a flash, she was on top of me, and I felt the sharp pain in my shoulder as her blade sunk in. It was….the first time I’ve been wounded like that in a long time. It was, most…uncomfortable. It brought back some memories of the conflicts I was involved in.

One of the Thunderfoot clan came to my aid. A Worgen named Anna, she took control of the situation and might I say, she was very commanding and professional. I will need to make a note to thank her for what she did. It could easily have gotten worse, but her immediate action prevented ruin. Honestly? As I think back on the jumble of events, she reminded me of a commander I once knew, very in charge when needed. I was patched up by the Gnome named Maggie (ironic hmm?) And taken to the infirmary, where I now await release. I am looking forward to simply resting tomorrow. Hopefully, I will have better news to discuss then, good night.


	5. JOURNAL ENTRY FIVE, Monday, August 14th

<< Many hearts are drawn on the page, with assorted flowery sketches as well. The writing is still awkward looking, but a bit better. >>

Dear Journal,

Today was one of the most wonderful days in recent memory! Allow me to start with the less good before I get to the wonderful. I spent the earlier part of the day resting in my room. I’d had very vivid dreams last night, but as of now I can barely recall them. Fueled by the painkillers, I’d imagine they were mostly nonsensical. I was still feeling exhausted from the events of the previous night. So I decided simply to stay in during the day. The matron had told me that it would be best if I rested, and I had to cancel my session with Balder. I hope he understands and isn’t too disturbed by the news.

I’ve spent the rest of the morning and afternoon reading a new book I purchased. It’s a romance, I do so love to indulge in those! Even if my mind was still a bit fuzzy from the painkillers, I was still able to get a good deal through the tale. As for the rest of the day I went over case files, and my personal notes. From my observations it seems like yes, there are many members of the clan who would benefit from my help. Well journal, now for the amazing part of my day! After spending the majority of the day in my room, I decided to go downstairs to get a change of scenery, and some refreshments. I spent a few moments simply relaxing and stretching out my back, being in bed all day can be so very tiring, ironically. Fhariis came by after a few minutes, and the two of us decided to sit together and share a meal. It was thrilling! I wanted to profess my love then and there! A good thing I have the sense not to do that. We talked for some time, and she asked me about my past. I told her where I grew up, what I did in my youth, the usual sort of questions. We….well, we clearly flirted in retrospect. And it was very exciting all around. She gave me a beautiful pendant and I could feel excitement growing when she offered to put it on me. Never before in my life was I SO happy to be in a sling! After that we moved to the fireplace, it was….well, incredibly romantic! I can’t think of the last time I’ve had such a wonderful evening.

Fhariis and I discussed Maggie, and what can be done to help her. I also tried to reassure her that this was not her fault. And as we’ve been dancing around the subject all night...Fhariis asked if I wanted to be with her. I said yes! Of course I did, and I assured her that we would help Maggie together, and I am sure in my heart that this is the right course of action. I will confess, that I feel guilty, or...selfish, but in reality, Maggie and Fhariis’ relationship reached its end before problems appeared. And honestly, sometimes they just end, so it’s no one’s fault and there’s no need to feel guilty. We spent the rest of the evening sitting next to each other, making plans and discussing our preferences. I’m a bit afraid to reveal my wants to her. I feel a bit ashamed to express that I tend to have a rather large appetite for affection and sex. I know that the key to being in a healthy relationship is communication. But it feels wrong to want those things. I know these are issues that I must deal with myself, I just how that Fhariis is understanding. The last thing I want to do is violate any boundaries set up in the relationship. I am determined to make it work this time. Fhariis is a wonderful, kind person and I want to be the partner she deserves. Well, I am tired from the events of the day, so I will be signing off here, sweet dreams journal.


End file.
